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Yes, I always heard voices in my head. Ever since I was a little girl, someone in there was talking to me. Sometimes it feels real. I have given different names to those voices, and they became even more alive. Sometimes they tell me their names. Yes, I can see them, just like I see people. I can describe with every detail things about them: what are they doing, what are they wearing, etc. Sometimes they tell me things that I didn't even seem to think about, well, sometimes they tell me things that I really don't like to hear. In many of my poems some of those characters talk to me, and I write down their opinions. Yes, the thought crossed my mind that something is wrong with me. I learned fairy quickly not to admit to my parents, or teachers that I hear those things, and see these people. In some way I kept them as my secret. My sweet secret, as I absolutely love the fact that I can have all those special to me inner dialogs. I do learn a lot from them. Sometimes I turn to my invisible faculty of good advisors with questions, and somehow they provide me with answers or with more questions that somehow will lead me to an answer, often in a poem like style. Today I received a little saying via e-mail from a friend. That saying made me feel so good. I no longer, not ever have to feel embarrassed about any of my inner chatter. Here is the saying that I got:
"Some people hear voices. Some see invisible people. Others have no imagination whatsoever." That made me happy. What I am learning, is a total acceptance of my mind.
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Death is such a hard issue. Yet, I found out that once I stopped fearing death, I stopped fearing life. Death is concrete and solid, life is fragile and uncertain. We can't change death, but we can change life. We don't have power over our death, but we do have power over our lives. To limit oneself from the full experience of life because of the fear of death, is like not ever tasting the sweet tartness of an apple, because of the fear of finding a little bug inside. It is not death that we should fear, but the life not lived.
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LILIANAI am a thinker, I love people, and I love the mystery of our inner world! My poetry and music are my tools to discovering this mystery. Categories
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March 2016
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