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I used to be very scared of publishing my poems. I still am, in a way. I thought my language is too simple, some of my expressions may be awkward, people will not like them, they'll make fun out of me... English is actually my third language. I don't even know why I write in English. But the thing is I don't really ever sit down to write a poem. I sit down to write in my journal, and once in a while my creativity takes over, I see some (usually funny) characters in my imagination and they "speak" to me in a poetical language. I keep writing what I hear, then take these writings out of my journal and leave them as separate poems. I actually hired a therapist to help me figure out why I was so scared to step to the light, to put my poems and songs out. He made some excellent points, I learned a lot, yet still didn't go forward. I actually had an amazing person (Oprah Winfrey) ask me: "Send those poems to me, and you send them fast!" I didn't do it. The fear was so big, almost as if a spell was placed over me. It is my own poem that actually helped me move forward:
...Maybe I sense death, or maybe I fear that once fear is gone I would have to appear.
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Death is such a hard issue. Yet, I found out that once I stopped fearing death, I stopped fearing life. Death is concrete and solid, life is fragile and uncertain. We can't change death, but we can change life. We don't have power over our death, but we do have power over our lives. To limit oneself from the full experience of life because of the fear of death, is like not ever tasting the sweet tartness of an apple, because of the fear of finding a little bug inside. It is not death that we should fear, but the life not lived.
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LILIANAI am a thinker, I love people, and I love the mystery of our inner world! My poetry and music are my tools to discovering this mystery. Categories
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March 2016
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