POEOMS ABOUT GRIEF, COMFORTING > Today I Allowed Myself to Cry

TODAY I ALLOWED MYSELF TO CRY

Today I allowed myself to cry.
I don’t have to be embarrassed by my tears.
I don’t need to justify my reasons.
And oh, how good it feels.
 
I let them fall as they come,
As the cloud allows the rain,
And I feel their heaviness flowing out
As they carry out my pain.
 
How good it feels to cry,
And to know that it is my right.
After all, it’s the only way
For my sorrow to be truly out,
 
For my pain to be resolved,
For my mind to become clear.
If Nature never let the rain fall,
How could the clouds disappear?
​

LILIANA KOHANN
©Artpeace Publishing 2002

"Tears, like water from a spring,
soften the rough edges of our inner landscape, shaping us and carrying our pain
to where it can no longer hurt us."
—Liliana Kohann

I’ve always been very sensitive, probably like any creative person. As a child, I was often mocked for crying, so I learned to fight to keep my tears from showing. For me, tears meant shame. The journal entry below, along with the poem that flowed from my heart afterward, marked the moment I finally allowed myself to cry freely, no longer bound by shame.

Journal entry, 2002
People tend to look down on those who feel sorry for themselves, yet how liberating it is, despite their judgment, to allow yourself to cry. It’s almost as if there’s an unspoken law about crying: you can cry when you're in physical pain, when you lose a loved one, or out of compassion for someone else. But God forbid you cry because you feel sorry for yourself. Showing compassion toward yourself through tears seems to be socially prohibited.

People often make fun of those who cry for themselves, but what right do they have to judge? How can anyone truly measure the intensity of someone else’s suffering?

I say we change that unspoken law. I say we let the tears flow when the pain is stuck in our throats. Tears are what lower our defenses. Tears allow us to be who we really are. They are like water from a spring, carving a river as they flow. With that water, the pain is carried away, and it’s through tears that we find freedom from the weight of our suffering.
​Today, I allowed myself to cry...

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